By the time I finish college my ass is going to be beat.

You know there was a guy that at one time said that 9 of 10 students consider suicide at one point in their lives. I used to think what the hell for? Think about it, there's chicks, beer, and lots of fun shit to do. You think in reality that 9 of 10 married people would think of committing suicide because there's only one chick who is probably not fucking you, not as much beer, and lots of money required to pay for all the fun shit you did in college.

Now I see the light though. The truth of the matter is that college rapes your ass with so many bullshit fees that your ass will be ripped almost in half by the time you finish with it. Here's a list of stupid fees I am required to pay on my bill:

Athletic Fee - $160 - Despite the fact I play no sports, use no gym equipment, or for that matter even run. If you consider running to class athletic and feel the need to charge this much than fuck it I'll start being late.

Student Activities Fee - $130 - The most active I am around the school is when I open a door or move a pencil. I love when Pitt sends e-mails talking about free events, they aren't free douche bags, the price is right on the bill.

Student Center Fee - $90 - Holy shit! We have a student center?

Computer/Network Service Fee - $300 - Alright than folks, I'm starting to check my e-mail at home so I don't have to pay this any... oh I have to pay it anyways so fuck it.

Health Service Fee - $50 - You know, in case I get a paper cut.

Tuition - $10,590 - Breaking this down considering 32 credits a year and I'm paying $331 for one fucking credit. Considering each course equals 3 credits that's a cool $993 or more per course.

Not to mention books, and of course when you go into Barnes and Nobel every book is $100 right? Seriously why can't professors use books out of the dollar bin or something?

There you have it. One years worth of getting raped in the ass from college and I've spent around a grand total of... $11,820. Fuck! My ass is hurting now in the worst way. I don't see how gays do it, really you guys deserve to have marriage rights for dealing with this shit and liking it.